The Entitlement Pattern: When You Expect Love to Feel Good All the Time
By Moshe Laniado Peleg, Life & Relationship Coach
Do you believe that love should always feel good? That if you’ve found “the one,” everything should flow naturally — no effort, no conflict, no tough conversations?
If so, you might be caught in what I call The Entitlement Pattern — a common mindset that quietly sabotages even the best relationships.
What Is the Entitlement Pattern?
The Entitlement Pattern shows up when we expect our partners to meet all our needs, make us happy, and somehow know what we want — without us ever having to ask. It’s the belief that love should be effortless, that happiness in a relationship is something we receive, not something we co-create.
This mindset often comes from the messages we absorb early on — movies where love is perfect, social media relationships that seem flawless, or even childhood stories that end with “happily ever after.” Over time, we start believing that if love requires effort, something must be wrong.
Why It’s a Problem
When we expect love to feel good all the time, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Real relationships involve growth, learning, and moments of discomfort. Challenges are not signs of failure — they’re opportunities for deeper connection and understanding.
The Entitlement Pattern often leads to two outcomes:
Disappointment: You feel let down when your partner doesn’t behave the way you imagined.
Avoidance: You give up too quickly when things get difficult, thinking, “If it’s this hard, maybe it’s not meant to be.”
But in truth, every meaningful relationship requires emotional effort, communication, and patience.
The Way Out
Breaking free from the Entitlement Pattern starts with a mindset shift:
Love isn’t about finding someone who will do everything for you — it’s about building something with someone.
Take responsibility for your own happiness. Communicate openly about your needs instead of expecting your partner to read your mind. And remember — healthy relationships thrive when both people show up, contribute, and grow together.
A Healthier Approach to Love
Here’s what real love looks like:
Mutual effort: Both partners invest time and energy into the relationship.
Self-awareness: You recognize your own needs and take ownership of your emotions.
Growth mindset: You see challenges as opportunities to strengthen your bond.
When both people commit to this approach, love becomes a partnership — not a fantasy.
About the Author
Moshe Laniado Peleg is a certified life and relationship coach with the Relationship Coaching Institute. He specializes in helping singles seeking lasting relationships and couples who want to overcome challenges and take their relationship to the next level.
To book a free one-on-one consultation, contact him at mishmoshe@gmail.com or visit www.coachmoshe.com.