The Fairytale Pattern: Why Waiting for Love Keeps You Stuck
By Moshe Laniado Peleg, Life & Relationship Coach
“Love isn’t something that just happens to you — it’s something you create.”
Let’s talk about one of the biggest and most seductive patterns that keeps so many singles stuck — the Fairytale Pattern.
This pattern is rooted in a beautiful idea: that love will one day find you.
That your soulmate will appear out of nowhere — maybe in a bookstore, on a flight, or at the exact moment you’ve stopped looking. It’s the fantasy that you don’t need to do anything — that the universe will simply align the stars and deliver “the one.”
It sounds magical. It sounds romantic.
And yet — it’s one of the most powerful illusions that quietly prevents people from creating the love they deeply desire.
The Seduction of the Fairytale
The Fairytale Pattern is comforting because it promises certainty without effort.
It tells you: “Don’t worry. You don’t need to take risks, face rejection, or feel vulnerable. Love will find you when it’s meant to.”
It’s an easy story to believe, especially if you’ve been hurt before.
When you’ve experienced heartbreak, disappointment, or loneliness, the idea of destiny stepping in to fix it all feels safe.
But safety and connection aren’t the same thing.
Waiting for love to happen to you is passive — and passivity keeps you isolated.
The Hidden Cost of Waiting
When you’re living inside the Fairytale Pattern, you may not even realize how much it’s costing you.
You might:
Stay in the same routines, hoping something will magically change.
Convince yourself that no one “good enough” is out there.
Dismiss people too quickly because they don’t match the fantasy in your mind.
Or cling to relationships that don’t work, believing that love should be effortless and perfect.
Here’s the truth: real relationships don’t happen by accident.
They begin when two people choose to show up — imperfectly, courageously, and intentionally.
Love isn’t about waiting for fate to sprinkle magic dust on you. It’s about choosing to participate — to open your heart, to be curious, and to engage with the world around you.
When you stay in the waiting zone, you miss the very moments that could lead to real connection.
You might overlook someone kind, grounded, and emotionally available simply because they don’t feel like “destiny.”
Why Action Matters More Than Destiny
Taking action doesn’t mean chasing love or forcing it.
It means becoming an active participant in your own story.
It means showing up with clarity — knowing what you want, what your values are, and what kind of relationship will truly align with your life.
It means taking small, consistent steps: going to that event, joining that group, starting that conversation, saying yes to something new.
Because love doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in connection.
Every meaningful relationship starts with two people who took a chance — not two people who sat back and waited for the universe to decide for them.
How to Break the Fairytale Pattern
Breaking the Fairytale Pattern isn’t about losing hope or becoming cynical.
It’s about replacing fantasy with intention — and passivity with presence.
Here’s where to start:
Get clear on your vision.
Ask yourself what kind of partnership you truly want.
What does it look like day-to-day? How do you want to feel in it? What values do you want to share?
When you know what you’re looking for, you can recognize it when it shows up.Be honest about your role.
Love isn’t a rescue mission — it’s a co-creation.
You’re not waiting to be chosen; you’re choosing to create connection.Take small, courageous steps.
Meet people. Try new experiences. Put yourself in places where connection can happen.
It’s not about quantity — it’s about showing up with openness and curiosity.Let go of perfection.
Real love isn’t perfect — it’s built through communication, vulnerability, and growth.
When you let go of the idea that “the right one” will be effortless, you create space for something deeper and more real.
From Fantasy to Fulfillment
The Fairytale Pattern keeps you dreaming about love — but not living it.
And it’s not because you’re unworthy or unlucky. It’s because waiting doesn’t create momentum; action does.
When you step out of the fantasy and start being intentional, everything shifts.
You begin to notice possibilities you once ignored.
You engage differently. You show up with presence and clarity.
And love — the real, lasting kind — starts to feel within reach.
Because love doesn’t just happen to you.
It grows through the choices you make every day — the choice to stay open, to take action, and to believe that connection is something you create, not something you wait for.
Takeaway:
Stop waiting for a fairytale. Start writing your love story — one intentional step at a time.
About the Author
Moshe Laniado Peleg is a certified life and relationship coach with the Relationship Coaching Institute. He specializes in helping singles seeking lasting relationships and couples who want to overcome challenges and take their relationship to the next level.
To book a free one-on-one consultation, contact him at mishmoshe@gmail.com or visit www.coachmoshe.com.